Babies!!

I am crazy about babies! I want more kids and we have been trying to get pregnant for over 1 year now.  So I had surgery a little over 2 months ago. I had an appendix attack and when they opened me to remove it, they discovered cysts, and scar tissues, which they thought it was cancer. They fixed everything but meanwhile, they discovered I had only one fallopian tube and the only one I had was the one filled with cysts. Now, I hope you can see why I think it is a blessing. I am so glad that I had an appendix attack, otherwise I probably wouldn't have discovered the cysts and scar tissues until it was too late... and no, I don't have cancer. I do, however, have a pituitary tumor which affects all the hormones of my body and doesn't let me get pregnant unless I take some hormone medicine which I can't until I get an MRI, which I also can't have until I have insurance so... next year I will have my insurance and get that all checked out. Still, I feel terrible every time I get a Negative Pregnancy Test! I am not even 100% sure that it is the tumor affecting me but at least a 90%.. which is a lot! I felt stressed and horrible about myself. I kept thinking of all those girls that don't want a baby and yet get pregnant so easily! but now I know better. I know that if the Lord wants me to have more kids, he will send them to me, granted I have to do my part, which I will once I get my insurance, and the rest it is up to HIM. I feel much more relaxed now and I am just looking at the future with faith, if the Lord only wanted me to have my two kids, it is for a reason. I love them and I am happy with them and I can't deny I still would love more babies, at least one more. As I said though, it is so much nicer to just trust in the Lord  because even you want something, it might not be the best for you and the Lord knows better. I am grateful for the surgery, I am grateful for my kids and my husband, I am grateful for my health even though it seems like I always develop a new place for a cyst or tumor I still love my body!! I am grateful that my Heavenly Father gave me this body, and I just need to walk with faith on HIM. When I do get pregnant though, I will post it to the world!!!

I do have the cutest kids in the world!